Our Man In Dammam

04/02/2015 11:34

Our Man In Dammam

 

Writing science fiction stories, while travelling the world as an English language teacher, was fraught. Aliens appeared everywhere in the guise of peepers trying to see what it was that the budding `sci fi` genius was engaged in, while preparing to condemn him as another Salman Rushdie. Rushdie, born a Muzzlem in Bombay, India, but become an atheist, wrote the novel, The Satanic Verses (1988), in praise of the Yarubean goddesses, Al-Lat, Al-Uzza, and Manat, who`re mentioned in the Gran (6. 10-30 am/pm), dictated by the angels, according to tradition, to the Brafit M’mumhad, who founded the Muzzlem faith of the `Slammer, although the passages about the goddesses Al-Lat, Al-Uzza and Manat were disparaged by `Slammeric fundamentalist commentators, `Have you then considered Al-Lat and Al-Uzza? And Manat, the other third? Is it for you the males and for God the females? That indeed is a division most unfair!`1

 

 

 In the New Toastermend of the Boble, `… the number of the beast is the number of a man and his number is six hundred three score and six.` (Rev: 13. 18) Men and women are two thirds of the human race, although `futanarian` human `seed` from women with penis` semen are the `other third`, represented by the Yarubean goddesses, Al-Lat, Al-Uzza and Manat, from An-Najm , `The Star`, 53rd Sura (chapter) of their Gran. A `fatwah`, which is a death sentence that can be carried out by anyone, and declared by the ‘Slammer on Rushdie, indicated why men and women are `the beast`, because they can’t disagree. In male braining, there`s no `woman`s seed`, that is, humans are absent from the written word. Consequently, the two thirds (66.6%) of the people of `the beast` that accepted the `fatwah`, that is, `the mark of the beast` (666), were the men and women of the Earth that were the beast`s own brain damage deferring to its own wounded head, `One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast.` (Rev: 13. 4)

 

 

 Salman Rushdie was attempting to explain that men and women were two thirds `beast`, because their taboos prevented `woman`s seed` from sexually reproducing human brains, `... they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of its name.` (Rev: 13. 18) People derived from humans aren’t, so their genitalia bears the ‘mark’ of mutilation. Revolutionary `Slammeric fundamentalist religious leader, Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran, was responsible for the deposing of Shah Pahlavi on February 11, 1979, and placed a `fatwah` upon Rushdie in 1989 for breaking taboo. The verses from `The Star` are known by Muzzlems as `the satanic verses`, so Khomeini, who died on June 3 that year, gave permission for anyone to kill Rushdie for explaining that `Allah`s daughters`, were `futanarian` women with penis` semen.

 

 

 At a diner in Bqaiq, Al Hasa, near Dammam, burgers were advertised as `Ourobyin`, which caused concern amongst the local Robys that they might be the focus of a `fatwah` if they were in buns. Bqaiq is so named for the bumps in the road slowing traffic to the pace of a penguin, `If you feel a little p-peckish, p-p-p-pick up a Penguin.`2 A chocolate `sandwich` biscuit, manufactured by McVitie`s food company, Muzzlem women in their burkhas are whimsically associated with it. However, although picking up a penguin is likely to result in backache, truckers can’t avoid the humps.

 

 

 Women in burkhas aren’t cannibal bred. Although they don’t want to be men’s seed buns, they shouldn’t want their daughters to be burgered either. An iqama is a work permit, which is the armor needed when the oil industry’s constant thirst for drilling is applied to the ELT professional’s brain. The discovery that there weren`t taxis, meant that Bqaiq was paid for with compacted vertebrae as company transportation hit the humps, so accusing the passengers of having been spine, which implied brains. The misogynist ideological perspective of the cannibals was that the muzzled women in their burkhas weren’t spine, because they were meet, that is, brainless, while the Muttawahs counted the hours that were left to the young women before they put on their burkha wrappings in preparation for bared canines.

 

 

 News came that the UK branch of the euthanasia EXIT society had persuaded the British government to have the population accept what it called ‘Brexit’, which meant having what was left of Ireland, and England, Scotland and Wales, suicidally leave the European Onions, without even a tear. Was it meet to deny MacDonald’s the Gremlins’ onioned homes?  It was a sign of the ‘last days’ prophesied by She’sus: ‘… false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.’ (Matt: 24. 24) Having ordered from e-bay, for £17.14 (incl. p & p), a TV Century 21 `Supercar` pin, I wore it as ‘a sign’. TV21 was a weekly comic, published from January 23, 1965, by City Magazines, which promoted SF television series, developed from Gerry and Sylvia Anderson`s Century 21 Productions company. Written in the style of a newspaper of the future, its front page was dedicated to fictional news stories set in the worlds of Supercar, Thunderbirds, which was made into a 2004 Hollywood movie, Fireball XL5, Stingray, and Captain Scarlet And The Mysterons, etc. Brexit was evidently TV 21  news. The Century 21 Productions` Supercar (1961-62) pin was bought to replace a Busynessmen`s Gosh Hell Fellowship (BGHF) badge that had been discovered in the luggage broken as ‘a further sign’ after passing through Egypt`s Cairo airport.

 

 

 Although Supercar was a flying car that traveled into space, like USSF writer, Robert A. Heinlein`s `Gay Deciever` (IE because it's Microsoft), Supercar travels through time too, although it`s not especially known for accessing alternative worlds created in fiction as well as reality, which is why Heinlein`s car from his novel, The Number Of The Beast (1980), was famed. While `gay` is a term applied to homosexuals, Robert A. Heinlein`s car is comprehendible as an escapee’s, that is, it`s necessary to deceive (correct spelling) paedophiles and pederasts, or you can`t. Heinlein’s novel is ostensibly about a ‘black beast’ that pursues married characters, Jake, Hilda, Zeb and Hilda as they explore alternative realities with their Microsoft IE. However, it’s actually concerned with the burkha, which conceals women’s alternative future reality. Consequently, Heinlein’s ‘black beast’, which disturbs the travelers, is hermaphroditic and enslaved, ‘The men carried whips; vermin were muzzled. This one vermin - well, "wog" - this wog had managed to pull its muzzle aside and was stuffing this weedy plant into its mouth ... when a whip cracked across its naked back. It cried.’3 The men are Muzzlems and the ‘wogs’ are burkha women.

 

 

 The Supercar pin had been instantaneously useful when the buttoning button on the suit jacket dropped off, while leaving Buttapes to see more of the apes’ planet. For the cognoscenti, the lowest button of a suit jacket is buttoned, while the two above remain unbuttoned, according to the supposed rules governing sartorial elegance. Discovering that two had been lost, including the bottommost, fortunately the Supercar pin, which had been attached to the lapel as ‘a sign’, couldn’t be made to serve as an emergency suit buttoning button. Airport security in Dammam had been was tight as usual, but not as tight as the suit. Braving the slaughterhouse ambience of people moving slowly in lines, the militarized personnel kept their Glock automatic pistols handily visible as psychologically stimulative `cattle prods`, which kept the despised animals from another nation racing forward in the racist `game` of `beat the Glock` and, with least fuss, on to their next experience of terminal boredom.

 

 

 Emptying one`s pockets of loose change into the airport charity tray for foreign coins from foreign … ers, it isn’t so bad as packing a Madonna video, which could hand you a death sentence, if the meat packers have seen her wobblers on the cover of the CD for ‘Like A Virgin’ (1984), for example, followed by an appearance as spam in the supermarket tins, ‘Hey! Touched for the very first time.’4 The e-mail on my laptop in the plane contained a jpeg of Britney Spears, `caught up skirt` by the paparazzi, as she got out of Supercar's tin, a penis product that oughtn’t to be topped.

 

 

 Sent from terminal to terminal, while you have another terminal experience, but which doesn`t quite leave you dead enough not to make it to Spam Am’s seatin’, is what `international flight` means. Although it`s perfectly possible to take flight from Buttapes to Riyald, the travel arrangers look to have  a 12 hour `stopover` in Turkey or Cairo, so that there’s an opportunity for some terror. Losing a valuable antique silver tie pin in Qatar, Doha, which was purchased in Buttapes for £ 50. 00 or so, going through the security check, the metal attracted the detector, so it was placed in the tray passing along the conveyor belt with the luggage to be scanned for dangerous, and/or illegal, items. The hallmarked solid silver didn’t make it through to the other side, because airport terminals are for stealing  from the mortal, whose time on Earth is finite, so terminaled.

 

 

  Doubtless there were piles of Chews, because the airport shoe retailers, looking to again `pin the tail on the donkey`, need them for the soles in transit. Through the skies to another airline heaven modeled in the Bauhaus abattoir style. Dubai, in fact, means, ‘Shoe buy.’ Because there’s still time before the dearly depart to take off their belts and shoes, and buy some more. As ghosts in old clothes, the passing shoes aren`t mourned in Abu Dhabi any more than the silver tie pin, which went with the shoes and belt. Prominent in their army uniforms at airports throughout the Muddled East, as local heads of state seek to reassure terminaled arrivals, the bespangled military units, with their Glocks and berets, beat a measure of time as the quaking and trembling are herd passing away. Satanically reminding the terminaled of the time, the Glock guards drive on to the lavatory those who`re still perspiring to reach for the stars, while they wet their pants in fear.

 

 

 Dammam`s Konk Fart airport terminal for those passing through the slaughterhouse ambience as favored animals still able to walk and talk in English enough to be allowed through as `walkie talkies` for the kids, who need an English language teaching (ELT) professional for just that reason, saw Our Man in Dammam weaving like a snake, or a worm in segments, which is how the passengers appear after a flight. They’ve been de-segmented, that is, cut off from the human family over the eons that have passed since the original Abba tour. At one point a burger woman bent in front of me to tend her child, Emil, and was roundly abused by a ghostly apparition clad in the traditional white `thob` until, abandoning a more direct route, the worm bits were made to resume the path of the winding snake to the passport counter, who counted the visibility of the Holy Ghost(s) he could detect by means of CCTV, or other recording equipment, while deferring as to the possibility of the ghostliness of the human worm`s being tangible.

 

 

 Perceiving the thob story as that of a maudlin psychopath slaying the human race in revenge for some imagined misdemeanor, Our Man in Dammam wove his way out of the terminal, and into the car waiting to take him alive into Bqaiq. The Supercar pin, though not sterling silver, was performing sterling service as a temporary suit jacket button, which was pridefully announced to the pogromer at the Trafficking Industry's Notional Institute (TINI), who catalogued it amongst the visible effects. Demonstrating ingenuity and independence as a Universe City graduate able to work alone under adverse circumstances, after it was rapidly outlined by the pogrom administration that classrooms had locks on the doors on the inside, which could be locked on the outside, so there was presumably central locking in case of riots by the spam inside the TINI, referring to my extensive knowledge of bore stalls, the bores were locked in during lessons. However, some of the hefty forty-five year old employees of the world`s largest oil field, Gowar, sentenced to industry training by Oahumco, looked past me in the corridor objecting. Teaching the world`s industrious has its hardships. The stud`nts could lock each other out of the classrooms, and lock the teacher in, while also locking the teacher out if they had an electronic key, or inside help from one of the screws.

 

 

 The flaw in the system was that the stud`nts could use `the bathroom`, which was the path of those wearing the obligatory white full length shirt, or `thob`, that is, thob bathroom. However, the absence of a bath in the lavatory suggested that it was the ‘path room’ that they were requesting and, though totally unversed in air force terminology, it seemed clear that the stud’nts were asking for ‘the bomb path room’ where they could dump on the teacher for trying to make the bored interesting. As a pastor with The Monastery, the stud`nts could be baptized in the washbasin, which was where they washed their feet. However, the administration’s rejection of the bath, and preference for the dump, meant the bore stalled inmates couldn`t escape to heaven on a plane to the West through conversion. Moreover, told not to preach to Muzzlems, the teacher’s official role was to open and close the door. It was a quandary. The thob was a dressing gown, and they were wearing a towel on their heads, so the absence of a bath meant they were a joke. Al Qaeda, `the base`, would require a lot of washing to get rid of their sins. No matter the size of the washbasin, they’d put their right foot in it. Indeed, the entire foot of the hole of the ‘Slammer’s.

 

 

 In Dalek on September 11, 2001, with the hospital nurses of the North West Legged Forces Hospital, Al Qaeda’s terrorist attack upon the World Trade Centre, when Al Qaeda, `the base`, after hijacking planes at Boston, Logan airport, crashed them into the Twin Towers of New York, profoundly affected my teaching. In William F. Nolan’s science fiction novel, Logan’s Run (1967), a society had been detailed in which people were killed when they reached 21 years, because of scarce resources. Logan was the name of a ‘runner’ who was hunted by ‘Sandmen’ because he didn’t want to be killed. Obviously, the basin in the lavatory was ‘a sign’ that Al Qaeda, `the base`, must be washed from the sin of seeking to bring war to the Earth to prevent it from progressing beyond the limitations of the 20th century, and into the 21st. Moreover, because of the scale of their crime, a bath mightn’t be sufficient to remove the scales from their eyes, or indeed their leathery wings.

 

 

 Strategically located about the TINI were bathroom scales. Perhaps Caley Cuoco, star of the US’ sitcom, The Big Bang Theory, would be the meat? Theory posited the serpent, Satan, would never escape its prison, but be `banged down`, as the warders in the Earth`s prison system say, before being `shot as a spy attempting to escape`, as the Nazis were wont to say of the `prisoners of war` (POWs), captured during Germany, Italy and Japan`s efforts to enslave the human race during World War Two (1939-45), after their first attempt in World War One (1914-18). My supposition was that the serpent was weighing things very carefully in its scales, and so far had rejected Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein`s Ba`ath Party program as `insufficient`. The President in Iraq was executed by the US army on December 30, 2006, for supporting Al Qaeda, `the base`, after 9/11, 2001. Ascension from a washbasin, though impossible, might prove difficult. The emergence of successor, Iraq’s Abu Bakr Al Baghdadi, leading the rebel Independent State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), was a refusal to Wahash, because that was the family name of Syria’s President Bashar Assad. According to etymologists, ‘wahash’ meant ‘beast’, because Syria’s dictator was the ‘beast’, so he needed a washbasin to cleanse him from sin too. ‘Bidet’ was the code name given to the US’ deployment of B1s and B2s against ISIS which, from ‘B-Day’ onwards, shat and pissed on the insurgents from a great height; until they weren't Uncle Ian dependents anymore.

 

 

 With so many signs of that ancient serpent, Satan, littering the place, the Smart Board, wearing its solid silver tie pin, and making an appearance on loan from the 1965-9 US’ spoof spy drama, Get Smart, remained the teacher`s only friend from the realm of adapting technology, and Max’s fight for CONTROL against Mr Big’s KAOS, ‘Why should we take the word of a vicious homicidal psychopathic killer like you?’5 Closed circuit television (CCTV) cameras designed to monitor the stud`nts were used by administrators to adapt the teacher by switching off Smart, and other technical aids, while the CONTROL agent was reduced to being a small bored Whitehall man in order to fulfil the exigencies of his contract: ‘Would you believe 25 CONTROL agents are converging on this building?’6

 

 

 On the understanding that Our Man in Dammam wasn’t the hero of BBC TV`s long running `scifi` show Doctor Who (1963-) but, like the Tardis, with pulchritudinous assistant Cake inside, the good doctor`s equipment would be miraculously translated into the TINI workspace for the faithful Muttawah, that is, robot dog, K9, would provide the realia for ‘The Doctor’ to instruct the Muzzlems in ‘Fetch’. Though bereft of a pastor’s ‘dog collar’, game instructions from the bored were for the muzzled to indicate where the bones of the Brafit M’Mumhad weren’t still being jumped on. Although Cake represents the desire for the equipment to appear, the TINI workspace consisted mainly of a generation of boys in arrested development unable to experience full immersion baptism in a washbasin, while the scales weighed them down, because of the `Falsie Brafit` of the `Slammer, that is, Saddam Hussein of the Ba`ath Party. `Ba`ath` means `resurrection`. Consequently, the `Falsie Brafit`, Saddam Hussein, supported Al Qaeda, `the base`, rather than the washbasin from whence all sins are washed clean.

 

 

 The piece of paper on my desk, not commanding the installation of the `printer driver`, meant that the `lesson plans` disobediently failed to print themselves. Without a key to the teacher`s room, it was necessary to have a TINI ID card with the magnetic strip attached for staff to open locked doors, or it`d be almost impossible for the printer to be driven, so that the `lesson plans` could obey orders, although the classrooms afforded plenty of opportunity to lament the absence of the TINI electronic key card, which would allow the teacher in, without having to then ask the stud`nts, ‘Can I leave? `Sit!` ordered a TINI, or a tube, or whatever. Bereft of electronic ID card to open the classroom door, the teacher would take orders from terrorists, wouldn’t he? Obviously the administrators and employers had thought so too. Certainly he was expected to provide the `printer driver` and the `lesson plans` by providing a printer, while the TINI were threatening to kill the teacher, so that they could sell it on their tubes as a slow motion AIDS’ snuff vid, or worse, if the printer didn`t materialize. `Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose`, I said under my breath, quoting drummer Neal Peart`s lyric from `Circumstances` by the Canadian rock band, Rush, and from the album Hemispheres (1978), with the cover featuring the two halves of an exposed human brain, and a `gay` couple celebrating male braining for the human race of `woman`s seed`.

 

 

 Having to buy a white shirt to fulfil the dress code of the hiring company, Bqaiq afforded only a 45 collar in its largest size so, collapsing in choking apoplexy during a bite to eat at the TINI cafeteria, unable to swallow and vomiting, because of the constriction at the throat, the shirt issue was resolved by moving the button closer to the buttonhole, with scissors and a needle and thread, while the suit button still remained a difficulty. However, although wearing a traveling suit is mandatory, according to the strict rules applying to sartorial elegants recruited by employers, a second afforded a few hours thought to consider repairs. If buttons were taken from inside the now almost buttonless suit jacket, the smaller buttons functioning as inside pocket fasteners, could be used as the upper defunct buttons, while the remaining larger button was relocated as the lowest, so allowing the jacket to be fastened at the bottom, while ensuring that the look of a three-button suit jacket wasn’t spoiled. The result was a suit that could be taken to the dry cleaners, while I wore the other. The Supercar pin had won. The wallet was lost though, because it couldn’t be fastened inside the suit with the inside pocket fastening buttons.

 

 

 Menaced by the administrative staff for timesheets recording the teachers` presence and the stud`nts` absences, cry `Terrorist!` Everyone knows half the period allotted to teaching is taken up with attendance; late arrivals, and explanations from missing, or reluctant to attend, bodies. The latter half of the period allotted is characterized by a series of menacing encounters with stud`nts demanding to see the register, and threatening to kill the teacher if their name isn`t registered where they expect to find it on the `team sheet` for the CCTV game of `Beat The Teacher` organized by the educating institute`s administrative staff, and the teacher`s employers, who`ve advertised a coffee, that is, a teacher from the Church of England (CofE), which means they can play the caffeine game of rescuing the teacher from the coffin by bringing jars of decaffeinated that minimize the risk of high blood pressure, or even harder tax, for example, the Muttawah religious police coercing the westerner to pray ‘doggy-style’ on the mat woofing.

 

 

 Baptized in the CofE, though a card carrying pastor with the Indonesian Fellatio Church (IFC), and the Universal Penis Church (UPC), while being `confirmed` in my faith in Eastern Europe onions, preaching`s fraught with soccer hooliganism to try. Although Al Hilal’s a soccer team, Al-Lat, Al-Uzza and Manat weren`t. These goddesses of the Gran were the representatives of a single species of ‘woman’s seed`, so were multiple in bodily and spiritual terms, that is, a form of immortality preceding the human brains` development of those technological miracles that prolong life through science and medicine. Consequently, `football` is a woman’s team game where the objective is to ‘seed’ their own race, whereas soccer is twenty two brain damaged men, being watched by a crowd of brain damaged men, which is how the in-bred in homosexuality in pederasty  for war against ‘woman’s seed’ look, while they’re kicking her eggs about. It’s ‘aborting the egg' supported by racists celebrating the footrace`s inability to fertilize its own species. Men`s `game` of eleven against eleven, so demonstrating that they can function as teams, is a parody of the human race of `woman`s seed`. For humanity, it`s about going forward together, rather than competition, because God wins.

 

 

 The head of the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America (MPPDA), Will Hays, introduced the Hollywood Production Code (1930-67) which, like soccer, emphasizes ‘keeping the foot on the floor`, that is, women`s penis` invisibility as a step towards the extinction of the human race of `woman`s seed`, who’d never realize the goal with her head if her semen wasn`t visibly accepted: ‘Women, in love scenes, at all times … [should have their] foot on the floor (in other words, no love scenes in bed).'7 The Hays Code was abolished in 1967 when Barefoot In The Park was released with actor Robert Redford as Paul, and actress Jane Fonda as Corie, 'Does this pot come with instructions?'8 Paul and Corie Bratter are an idealized couple moving into an apartment overlooking Central Park in New York. The foot of Eve is the metaphor, ‘You shall crush the head of the serpent with your foot, but he will bruise your heel.` (Gen: 3. 15) The invisibility of the woman`s penis on film suggests Hollywood 'Babylon' didn`t want the head of the serpent rivaled by women sexually reproducing their own brains, `Mystery, Babylon the great, mother of harlots and of the abominations of the Earth.` (Rev: 17. 5) Hollywood wants the whored of the brain damaged `beast` of Revelation and its children, rather than that Eve`s `foot` should be seen naked.

 

 

 In the film, Hans Christian Andersen (1952), based on the life of the Danish storyteller, actor Danny Kaye sang in the lead role, `Look at the King! Look at the King! Look at the King, the King, the King! The King is in the altogether, but altogether, the altogether. He's altogether as naked as the day that he was born.`9 The story is about a king who is led to believe he’s wearing fine clothes, whereas he’s naked, which is truth. Hollywood is Andersen’s tale, `The Emperor`s New Clothes` (1837), because hatred for `woman`s seed`, once discovered, can`t be concealed. Men and women are a single male brained transvestite wearing each other’s clothes in ‘TV war’ against ‘woman’s seed`. The Empire doesn’t have any clothes of its own.

 

 

 Leaving Dammam, where mam was presumably damned, Konk Fart airport`s security carefully x-rayed my luggage as it went through the check-in at Turkish airlines, and along the conveyor belt to the waiting plane. Unpacking from the Spam Am airlines tin after transit at Ataturk airport, Turkey, it was then waiting at the conveyor belt at Fairy Head airport, Buttapes, beside the children shouting `Cuddly toy!` As time wore on and the travelers got their bags, it became clear there was to be no second chance for the suit. Thoughts traveled back to Doha airport, Qatar, where a gentlemen`s outfitters, displaying several rows of suits, had been asked for three suit buttons, because a match for the single button that remained dangling from mine’s full complement seemed unlikely. The suit attendant, carefully inviting me to ignore the unreason, that is, presupposing that, if I hadn`t brain damage, he could give me some, said, `We have no suit buttons here.` Obviously, the presence, or absence of the teacher`s suit buttons, had been a matter of some international importance, and the green suit had disappeared between Konk Fart airport in Dammam, and Ataturk airport, Turkey. ‘If only the button had come off the jacket I`m wearing also’, I ruefully reflected, ‘the Supercar pin would have been saved.’

 

 

 Inside the bag containing the expensive sunglasses, and equally expensive spectacles, was the Supercar pin. As was a white summer jacket, bought in the 1990s at Buttapes’ Weak End City Centre mall, and infrequently worn; but carried lovingly as a memory of the mam who'd once worn it. As the stretch jaguar limousine pulled slowly away from terminaled 2, the thought came that cancelling the sim card for the T-Mobile internet modem would prove difficult, and inconvenient also. Replacing the electric shaver bought at Abu Dhabi airport would be costly, but not an insurmountable task. Two new pairs of non-western, that is, comfortable, shoes devoid of the heel, weren`t negligible acquisitions at the bottom of the child`s pink backpack bought in an emergency in Riyald, because the printer bought at the Riyald Gallery mall, to fulfil a role as Manager of Local Instruction (ILM) for Bullitz language skull, took up all of the space in the travel bag brought there. Although the `printer driver` instruction to the ether at the TINI in Bqaiq was now explicable as a demand that the printer be installed, the capture of the escaping shoes seemed to have been intended allegorically.  A comment on the pogroms implemented against the Chews who’d sought to escape slavery, that is, `backache`, during the diaspora, which took them out of the reach of Egypt`s Pharaoh, Thutmose II, and on to the Nazi ovens at Belsen and beyond, where they’d had to leave their shoes by the door of the oven as required. If the shoes escaped with their feet, it might be eons of sexual reproduction amongst the `chosen` people` of ‘woman’s seed`, before the homosexuals caught up with them for being deceitful, and began their ‘shoot-em-ups’. Tape records of Our Man's forthcoming pop music album, @ Apes, were irreplaceable. The track, ‘Ka-Ba-Akh’, which was interpreted as ‘Car Park’, and lyricized about ‘necking’, wasn’t seen on the track listing for Britney Spears’ upcoming album, 'My loneliness ain't killin' me no more. I … I'm stronger.’10

 

 

 People don`t know that the manufacturers of footwear in the West are the cripplers of the human race, that is, we`re not supposed to be able to walk in the shoes they make, while shoes without a heel are comfortable, and not the same as Clarks. However, not content with shoes, the foot fetishists had all my underwear too; presumably to sniff: although I always travel with a laundered selection. Saddened at the loss of socks, footwear and underwear, the mind was boggled at the loss of vitamins, which had afforded some assistance to someone who`d had several operations on his leg to assure him of some mobility, after being clattered in a soccer contest against Grey Felt Skull in ‘Ull when fifteen, ‘He isn’t Britney Spears’ dog, because she’s sun’s.’

 

 

 Kong’s Town Upon ‘Ull had produced at its Newer Uh laboratories homoeopathic tissue salts, # 4 Ferrous Phosphate, and # 6 Kali Phosphate, that is, biochemical remedies for anemia and stress respectively, which were very useful as dietary supplements for the invalid in far climes, where there was little or no dietary similarity with what a human needs. The bureaucratic gnomes of the European Onion`s regulatory bodies had closed the Newer Uh factory to poison the self-treaters. I`d had to purchase inferior quality tubs of Dr Schuessler`s tiny tablets, for example, manufactured in places as far apart as Australia and the United States, so a great loss with regard to the several thousand in my pack that wouldn`t ever dissolve on the tongue.

 

 

 Musing on being directed back to class, by an officious TINI administrator uncaring as to whether the bored marker left at my previous class was needed or not, Marcel Proust`s great work, Remembrance Of Things Past (1913-27) came to mind. Like Margaret Mitchell`s novel, Gone With The Wind (1936), about the liberation of the United States` enslaved black workers from West Africa, it’s about the need to remember, and the desire to forget, because of our regret which, as the poet A. E. Houseman illustrated in `Blue Remembered Hills` (1896), we’ll always feel; unless Supercar takes us back in time to see our white jacket with mam stretching the inside of it out:

 

`Into my heart an air that kills, from yon far country blows;

What are those blue remembered hills, what spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content, I see it shining plain;

The happy highways where I went, and cannot come again.`11

 

 Having devised a password, and secreted my life`s work in the `Protected Folder`, which the software sellers on the internet assured me was a foolproof way of keeping private information from prying eyes, not for the first time I found that film scripts, articles, short stories and novels had been lifted by some technophile `geek` looking to eat my head as a chicken`s as, crept cowering in fear among the terrorist nations, the chicken’s head learned enough to write, so supplying the `geek` with more product. The latest pre-productions seemed to have been thieved by gangsters from the laptop ensconced in the apartment, connected to the internet through a Nob-etin modem. The TINI people had given me a security code for the wifi internet that wasn’t expected to work, and it didn`t. The hoodlums were looking to make it big for someone in Hollywood ‘Babylon’ on the strength of my pen, or perhaps the latest additions to my oeuvre had been appropriated by local nation state government espionage agents charged with helping some rich pop star`s kid find original material to improve his credit standing at Universe City. Intellectual theft was something that had happened to me in the UK, and on three continents, Europe, Asia and Africa; since I went to work in ELT. Seeing work very similar surface on the cinema screen, while agents and publishers reject their scripts and stories, is the money-go-round of writers. Parasites feed through terrorism masquerading as nation state surveillance upon journalists careering from plane to plane and airport to airport, clutching reporters` notes like banknotes, while the vultures circle the wounded human; anticipating rich pickings from whatever remains of the cadaver: after the hyenas have feasted.

 

 

 Inviting themselves to steal suit, and Supercar pin, isn`t assisting the writer`s `hajdu`, which is the name given to `artful non-fiction` by its major proponent, David Hajdu, Professor of Journalism at Columbia Universe City, New York city, USA. Although it may be entertaining for the criminals to place a heavy price on a printer, for teachers bereft of `lesson plans' they're a must for the fulfilling of their obligated duties in order to receive the remuneration they need to pay mortgages and put their kids skull through. Expecting the printer to be installed in Bqaiq, Dammam, which the teacher bought to help him in Riyald with his Bullitz work, gangland wants to see itself characterized in artful `hajdu` non-fiction, and published by some rich `beast` oiling their palms after suffering another gush to the head.

 

1 Koran, Sura 53, An-Najm, `The Star`, 610-30 C.E., 19-23.

2 Child Of The 80s, http://www.childofthe1980s.com/2011/07/13/p-p-pick-up-a-penguin/ .

3 Heinlein, Robert A. The Number Of The Beast, ‘- we place no faith in princes’, Chapter XXIX, 1980.

4 Kelly, Tom, and Billy Steinberg ‘Like A Virgin’, Madonna, Like A Virgin, Sire, 1984.

5 Don Adams as Maxwell Smart ‘Island Of The Damned’, Season 2, Episode 11, Get Smart, NBC, November 26, 1966.

6 Don Adams as Maxwell Smart ‘The Dead Spy Scrawls’, Season 1, Episode 18, Get Smart, CBS, January 22, 1966.

7 Hays Code, https://www.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Mali .

8 Fonda, Jane as Corie Bratter Barefoot In The Park, Paramount Pictures, 1967.

9 Loesser, Frank `The King`s New Clothes`, Hans Christian Andersen, Samuel Goldwyn Productions, 1952, https://www.musicals101.com/1930film2.htm .

10 Martin, Max, Rami ‘Stronger’ Britney Spears Oops I Did It Again, Jive, 2000.

11 Houseman, A. E. `Blue Remembered Hills` in A Shropshire Lad, XL, 1896.

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